Losing Control When You Are Triggered?

Become aware of your triggers - remain in your driving seat 🚗.

👉 When you become triggered, you can lose control. That is not something you are alone in. It is part of human nature and can happen to anyone. There is no shame in experiencing this, and it is more common than people wish to admit. You may try and attribute blame inwards for this occurring, with beliefs such as "I'm too sensitive" and "I'm not good enough to manage my emotions". You may internalise statements made by others in response to your triggered reaction "You're being irrational, it must be your time of the month" or "You need to man up". These beliefs and statements are not only harmful but false.

👉 Becoming triggered by something is not a negative reflection of you. It is the consequence of evolution, can be explained by science, and is part of being human. Becoming triggered activates your fight or flight response and causes your mind and body to behave in a way that's sole purpose is to keep you alive. When you're triggered and lose control, you become a passenger in your journey of life, you are no longer in control of your destination. You deserve to be in charge of your journey. This isn't a luxury, this is something you owe to yourself. Once you understand how to identify, acknowledge, and work with your triggers, they can be used to your advantage. They enable you to pinpoint areas inside of yourself that need further exploration and healing. Which in turn will improve your mental well-being, enable you to progress on your journey of healing, and of course reduce the adverse effects of becoming triggered. Most importantly; you remain in control, you remain in the driving seat.

👆What are triggers?🧐

🔶 A trigger is something that causes you to feel adverse psychological and physiological responses in your mind and body. 🔶 An event from your childhood, past relationship, or ultimately anything you have experienced throughout your life may have contributed to the development of your triggers 🔶 Just like your fingerprints, your triggers can also be unique. However, there are common, shared triggers such as feeling abandoned, violence, loss of control, and unjust treatment to name a few. 🔶 A lot of triggers have nothing to do with the present situation but they trigger something from your past, causing your current environment to feel like that past experience. You may not even be aware this is happening at the time you're triggered. 🔶 Whatever triggers you is valid and acknowledging this is key. 🔶 Although your triggers may be causing negative responses for you now at one point in your life they may have been what kept you safe. So show compassion to your triggers, rather than scrutinizing and shaming them, which is so easily done. 🔶Triggers have a negative reputation but they can be positive because they highlight what you need to do to heal. Becoming aware of your triggers allows you to show compassion to yourself and work with them rather than losing control.

👆Trigger Example: John is talking to his friend and they are not listening to him. This is a trauma trigger for John, developed from when he was a child, and his parents were often preoccupied, unable to hold space for him to express himself, and failed to listen to him healthily. Therefore, this experience of his friend not listening to him triggers John. It creates the same feelings he felt as a child. John's mind and body have taken him back to that moment and to protect him from harm, his fight or flight mode has been activated. This causes John to respond in a triggered manner, he loses control and shouts at his friend. This situation went completely different for Mary who doesn't find this particular situation triggering, so asks her friend to put their phone down and listen. Everyone is different, there are no right or wrong triggers.

👆How do you feel when you are triggered?🤔 🔴 Everyone reacts differently, you may even experience differences in your reactions depending on the trigger you experience. 🔴 But there are common, shared psychological, physiological, and social reactions such as intense sadness, sudden uncontrollable anger, hypomania, dissociation, feeling overwhelmed, rapid breathing, palpitations, sweating, tension, sensory sensitivity, isolating, ruining relationships, and reckless behaviour. 🔴 Remember, when something has triggered you, you may not even be aware you have been triggered, only aware you’re experiencing these negative effects. This is another reason acknowledging and working with your triggers is so important. You can become familiar with your trigger responses, and then in the future when you experience these, you may be more likely to identify you’ve been triggered and thus learn a new trigger and work to heal.

✍️ Working with your Trigger’s Exercise: Take a moment to contemplate your responses, it may be useful to write them down. How did your body feel? How were you feeling emotionally?

✍️ What to do when you are triggered? ✅You need to find what works best for YOU. ✅ A useful first step when you’ve become triggered is taking time to acknowledge this has happened, so you can validate your mind and body's reaction. ✅ Have some space so you can take a step back and provide yourself with a chance to ground yourself. ✅ Meditation and mindfulness can be helpful as self-regulation tools, along with exercise and journaling. ✅ Self-soothing affirmations can also help to regulate your emotions, for example, my trigger is valid but I am safe now. ✅ You need to find what works for you, try a few of these suggestions, and investigate what brings you the most comfort. It takes practice, but you can learn to remain calm when triggered, which will change the entire outcome of the triggering situation.

Identifying, acknowledging, and working with your triggers can be more difficult than remaining unaware. Healing your inner trauma is not easy, but it allows you to take control of your own life, progress on your journey of healing, and improve your overall mental well-being in the long term. The rewards are worth it. Be kind to yourself, your triggers are not your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal them. If you would like to gain a deeper understanding of triggers and how to work with them then Happio can help!! Take a look at the Overcome Burnout programme which works with you to understand your triggers.🤗