Window of Tolerance

Are you living in your window of tolerance? 🧐

✍🏻 What is the window of tolerance?

The window of tolerance is a concept designed by Dan Siegel MD (a clinical psychiatrist and educator).

🔵 Imagine a circle, and we will label this circle window of tolerance. When you are inside this circle, you are inside your window of tolerance. You can function at your best. This is when you can best manage the stressors of everyday life and other challenges. You remain in control of your emotions and behavioural impulses when you are in this circle🔵.

⬛️When something you perceive as stressful happens, you might leave the circle (window of tolerance) and enter a square. This square is your hyperarousal state. When you are in this square you are in fight or flight. You probably feel emotions of fear, anxiety, or even anger and you have the physical responses associated with these emotions. Such as a racing heartbeat or shortness of breath. You will also have the behavioural impulse to run (flight) or fight⬛️.

🔺 Alternatively, when something you perceive as stressful happens, you might leave the circle (window of tolerance) and enter a triangle. This triangle is your hypoarousal state. When you are in this triangle you are feigning death (this animal defence system response is most frequent in this state). You probably feel emotions including sadness, shame, embarrassment, and loneliness. You may feel physically tired, numb, and disconnected. Your behavioural impulse might be to go to sleep or to hide away🔺.

🔵The circle AKA your window of tolerance is the place you want to be. With some work, you can help yourself to learn how to stay in your window of tolerance and how to re-enter it after leaving it🔵.

If you have experienced trauma, it is important to note your window of tolerance will understandably be smaller than those who have not experienced trauma. Do not blame yourself for this. This is completely normal. Over time and with help, you can widen your window of tolerance. It can also feel uncomfortable for you at first to be inside your window of tolerance, this is because it is an unfamiliar feeling for you. But, this does get better. Remember, you deserve to be happy and you deserve to be living your best life and this is achievable! Do not lose hope! 🤗 (Hershler et al. 2021)

👉 Why is it beneficial to be in your window of tolerance? ❇️ This is when you can function most effectively. It’s when you can be at your happiest because you are not in a state of panic or sadness. ❇️ It’s when you can manage the stressors of everyday life and other challenges the easiest. ❇️ It can help you to remain in the present moment. ❇️ It allows you to behave in a manner that is in alignment with your values and goals. ❇️ It allows you to feel calmer and less threatened.

✍️ Exercise: Understanding your window of tolerance... 👉 Everyone has a different window of tolerance. It is something unique to you. The better you understand your window of tolerance, the better you can stay inside it, and the better you can re-enter it after leaving it. To help you deepen your understanding of your window of tolerance, over the next week think about your responses to the following questions... ✍️ How do you feel when you are in the circle (your window of tolerance)? (think about your emotions, the thoughts you have, and the behavioural impulses you have) ✍️ How do you feel when you are in the square (hyperarousal state)? (think about your emotions, the thoughts you have, and the behavioural impulses you have) ✍️ How do you feel when you are in the triangle (hypoarousal state)? (think about your emotions, the thoughts you have, and the behavioural impulses you have) ✍️ What do you think you could do to expand your window of tolerance? (This question is particularly difficult to answer for most people. Allow yourself time to think about what you could do, don’t expect to know straight away!)

👉 How to stay within your window of tolerance? The answer to this is that you need to look after yourself. You need to do things to nurture your mental and physical well-being. It is really important you find what works for you. There are lots of different things you can do. I have included a few suggestions for you below. Remember, it is key for you to practice the following suggestions/your own strategies even when you are already in your window of tolerance. This will help the effectiveness of these exercises when you are outside of your window of tolerance and need them the most. 🔶 Practice Mindfulness. – Focus your mind on the present moment and let yourself feel your emotions. Rather than criticising yourself, be kind and curious. Explore with yourself how you are feeling and why you are feeling the way you are. Perhaps you have been triggered. If you would like to learn more about understanding your triggers, you can find more information in the “Losing control when you are triggered” piece. 🔶 Practice meditation – Meditation is known for its many benefits! It can really help improve your thoughts in all areas of your life. Happio has some excellent meditation resources that you can access in the self-care section of our app. My personal favourites are the "Body scan" and "Calm anxious thoughts" meditations. The great thing about these meditations is that they are guided. This means you are guided through each step of the way, this is a really helpful technique if you struggle to remain in the present moment when meditating. 🔶 Focus on your breathing. – Your breathing is so important. You have probably noticed when you are experiencing an anxious mental state your breathing changes, maybe it becomes more rapid. By controlling your breathing, you are helping to tell your body that everything is ok, you are safe, and you don’t need to panic. This helps return you to your natural state. Happio also has a great selection of breathing exercises available in the self-care section. These are particularly useful if controlling your breathing is something you are not familiar with or something you would like to work on to improve. 🔶 Journaling. – As discussed in the previous “Ready to deepen your relationship with yourself?” piece, journaling is a beneficial tool that can help you feel, explore and manage your emotions. Journaling helps you to gain a deeper insight and perspective into both the situation and your emotional response. It’s another great tool for you to use in your positive mental well-being toolbox.
🔶 Remember to be kind to yourself. It can take a lot of time and practice before practicing these suggestions feels natural to you.

If you are struggling with managing the stressors of everyday life and other challenges. You could have a small window of tolerance. This can make life feel really difficult. Please remember, you are not alone🤗. You might be suited to the “Manage Stress and Anxiety” online programme Happio is running it could really help you on your journey of positive mental well-being🤗.