Practicing Self-Compassion
More self-critical than self-compassionate? Time to change the narrative.
Self-compassion is a key component of self-love, and it starts with you. It is not something you can rely on from other sources. It is something you have to give to yourself.
For some people, the practice of self-compassion can feel somewhat of an alien concept. It is normal for practicing self-compassion to feel abnormal and even uncomfortable when being self-critical is natural for you.
✍️ Are you more critical than compassionate? Have a look at these definitions and take a moment to decide which most suitably describes how you treat yourself…
🔶 Self-Compassionate: Being aware of the emotional pain you’re feeling. Directing understanding, kindness, and warmth inwards. Recognising you’re not alone, these experiences are universal.❤️
🔶 Self-Critical: Avoiding your emotions. Directing judgment and criticism inwards. Feeling you’re isolated and alone in these experiences.💔
If you feel you are more self-critical than self-compassionate then it’s time to change your relationship with yourself 🤗 .
👉 Most people report they are kinder to others than they are to themselves (Neff, 2003). But if criticising ourselves resulted in feeling healed and happy, we would all be healed and happy by now.
Practicing self-compassion is not a short-term fix. It is a lifestyle change. It is a habit that equips you with the ability to manage mistakes, personal inadequacies, and situations that are outside of your control. Practicing self-compassion will allow you to achieve your goals from a place of happiness and balance. Fortunately, self-compassion can be learned. But it requires deliberate effort from you. Changing the narrative from self-critical to self-compassionate can be difficult. Happio can educate and support you along the way, helping you develop a healthy relationship with yourself.
👉 Self-compassion Example: John applied for a new position at work and was unsuccessful. He was critical and judgemental towards himself. He told himself he was an idiot, a failure and he wasn’t good enough. These negative and unhelpful beliefs led to John hating himself, hating his current job, and experiencing feelings of depression. HOWEVER. Mary also applied for a new position at work and was unsuccessful. But she actively engages in practicing self-compassion. She acknowledged she felt disappointed and upset she was unsuccessful and allowed herself to have these feelings. Mary treated herself with kindness, forgiveness, and love. She acknowledged the achievement of receiving an interview. Mary told herself she did the best she could do at the time and the interview was a great learning opportunity to enhance her experience and knowledge for future interviews. Mary recognised she is not alone, many people have had unsuccessful interviews.
Both John and Mary had the same unsuccessful outcome. Their differences in how they responded are what resulted in John feeling depressed and Mary feeling optimistic for future endeavours. So ask yourself, would you rather have Mary’s subsequent feelings? If so, then it’s time to show yourself some self-compassion.
👉 Practicing self-compassion Exercise:
✍️ Think about something you’ve negatively judged and beaten yourself up over recently. If you’re not used to practicing self-compassion, maybe start with something small. Take a moment to think about the beliefs you told yourself. Now, imagine your best friend told you they had done the same thing. Think about how would you respond to them? Show yourself the same kindness you would your friend 💫
👉 Self-compassion has been reported to have a positive effect on: ❇️ Eating behaviours ❇️ Stress ❇️ Depression ❇️ Anxiety (Ferrari et al, 2019)
💫 Wherever you are in your journey of self-compassion, remember self-compassion is not a luxury. It is a necessity. You deserve kindness from yourself. The initial struggles developing self-compassion are worth the endless benefits! 💫
👉 Happio can help!! Take a look at the Avoid burnout, Combat Depression and Restore and Release therapy groups Happio offers. All of these explore self-compassion!